As parents, it can be difficult to know when your teen is struggling and even harder to know how to help. September is National Suicide Prevention Month, a time dedicated to raising awareness, breaking down stigma, and encouraging open conversations about mental health. For parents, this month is also a reminder of how important it is to check in with your teens, listen to their concerns, and create a safe space where they feel supported. Even small conversations can make a big difference in helping your child feel seen, understood, and connected. This post offers resources on how parents like you can proactively address mental health with your teens, from conversational tools to organizations that can provide additional support.
Data on Teenage Mental Health
Some of the recent data on teen mental health highlight how widespread these challenges are and why open conversations and early support are so important.
Suicide is the second leading cause of death among 10–14-year-olds and the third leading cause of death among 15–24-year-olds in the United States (ACAMH)
18.8% of high school students seriously considered attempting suicide, and 8.9% made a suicide attempt within the past year (Ivey-Stephenson et al., 2020)
Emerging data suggest that the COVID-19 pandemic further increased youth suicide risk, with significant increases in rates of deaths by suicide and in emergency department visits for suicide attempts Charpignon et al., 2022; Yard et al., 2021)
How Mental Health Stigma Impacts Parents Seeking Help for Their Kids
There are many parental barriers to seeking help or initiating conversations because of low mental health literacy, stigma, or fear of labeling (Sayal, Lawrence, Johnco studies). Oftentimes, parents may feel ashamed or embarrassed about the external perception of their child being depressed or suicidal. It's also common for parents to be afraid that they'll lose their child's trust if they do seek help for their child. Another barrier is the misperception that their child's mental health issues will resolve on their own, which conflicts with the reality that depression is an illness and requires treatment in order to improve the individual's mental health.
Common Misconceptions to Avoid
As you support your teen, it’s also important to be aware of common misconceptions about mental health that can prevent them from getting the help they need.
Misconception #1: Talking about suicide causes suicidal thoughts. This is false; according to multiple studies there is no statistically significant increase in suicidal ideation among participants asked about suicidal thoughts, and that it actually may be associated with benefits.
Misconception #2: Asking for help makes you weak. Seeking help is actually a huge strength, and youth are now increasingly recognizing that discussing their emotions does not mean a person is weak. This can be empowering for young adults to hone in skills of emotional awareness and intelligence.
Misconception #3: Self harm is the same as suicidality. Self-harm and suicidality are related but distinct behaviors. Edmondson, Brennan, and House (2016) found that many individuals who self-harm do so to cope with emotional distress, regulate overwhelming feelings, or exert a sense of control, rather than to end their lives. In fact, Klonsky (2011) estimates the lifetime prevalence of self-harm in the U.S. at 5-6%, with much of it classified as non-suicidal self-injury (NSSI). While self-harm is a strong risk factor for later suicide attempts, its primary function for many individuals is emotional regulation rather than suicidal intent (Edmondson et al., (2016)).
Recognizing how these barriers and misconceptions might impact your interactions with your child is the first step; the next is finding practical, age-appropriate ways to begin conversations that help your child feel supported and understood.
Starting the Mental Health Conversation with Your Kids
The way you approach conversations about mental health will look different depending on your child’s age, but whether you’re talking with a middle schooler or a high school senior, the goal is the same: create a safe, supportive space where they feel heard.
Young Children (6 and under) - At this age, if they ask about depression or suicide, keep your answers short and simple. For example, if someone they know has died by suicide, acknowledge that the person suffered with a disease in their brain and their body stopped working. For children in this developmental stage, the concept of death may be new, and concepts about mental health a little too abstract and complex for them to understand the first time they ask; it will likely be something you have to explain to them more than once.
Adolescents (7 - 10) Honesty and plain language are key for this age group. Introduce depression as a disease to give them language for it and understand that it is something they can get help with, if they ever experience it.
Teens (11 - 18) At this age, teens have likely been introduced to or heard about what suicide is on an educational level, but not necessarily on an emotional level, and may be unsure how to ask for help or initiate conversations around this topic. This is when you can have a more direct conversation with your teens about the big emotions they're feeling. This stage of life is a big time of transition for them, and there may be feelings that come up that are scary to talk about. When talking to your teens about depression and suicide in this stage of life, it's important to communicate a few key things:
They can get help for the depressive feelings and thoughts they're having.
Depression is a disease that can be treated.
Asking for help and getting diagnosed with depression is not a sign of weakness.
Depression and suicidal ideation are serious and can lead to death without help.
You're here to help them get the mental health support they need.
(Source: University of Utah Health)
How to Check in with Your Teen About Their Mental Health
If you're concerned that your teen may be struggling with your mental health, or if they've recently lost a friend or loved one to suicide, you may be wondering how to initiate a conversation that builds trust and allows them to be vulnerable. Here are a few tips for communicating support rather than judgment:
Use terms like "we" instead of "you" to signal to your child that this can be a joint effort to get help.
Name behavior or mood changes you have noticed and ask if there is anything you can do, or ask if it is something they want to talk about. (Look for example questions below.)
Use open-ended questions and validate their feelings.
Normalize their experience with responses like, “Many people feel this way, and it’s okay to talk about it.”
There are also a few things to avoid in response to their vulnerability:
Try not to minimize their experience with responses like, “it’s just a phase; you’ll get through this” or “you’ll get over it.”
Don't jump to a problem-solving mindset.
Try not to react with fear.
Here are some example questions you can ask your team to initiate a conversation:
I've noticed you've had a couple of down days lately, can you let me know how you're feeling or what you're thinking about?
It seems like you've been struggling lately. Are you comfortable talking with me about what's going on?
Hey, I've experienced similar things that you might be feeling, and we can work together to find support and help for you.
Have you thought about how you might approach this differently?
What you are feeling sounds tough, but I, or someone else, can help you solve this problem—let's work together on this.
Have you felt this way before? What kind of things help you feel safe when you're feeling like this?
(Source: University of Utah Health)
You may find that your child isn’t ready to open up to you about their mental health right now. Forcing them to talk will likely cause them to shut down or withdraw even more, so it’s important to keep communication lines open by responding with compassion and understanding. To make sure they still have access to support, even if it doesn’t come directly from you, give them resources they can reach out to when they’re ready.
Mental Health Resources to Share With Your Teen
Get immediate support via iasp.info/suicidalthoughts, a dedicated search tool to find the right helpline to meet your needs, location, and other specifics.
NAMI Chicago Youth (1-833-626-4244) NAMI Chicago provides help navigating mental health resources for young people in Chicago and suburban Cook County.
Seize the Awkward is an online resource to help young people talk about mental health with each other.
Mental Health Resources for LGBTQIA+ Youth
Trans Lifeline (1-877-565-8860) Trans Lifeline provides trans peer support for our community. Trans Lifeline is run by and for trans people.
The Trevor Project (1-866-488-7386 or text START to 678678) The Trevor Project is the world’s largest suicide prevention and mental health organization for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, and questioning (LGBTQ) young people.
Bisexual Queer Alliance Chicago - BQAC’s mission is to educate, empower, and provide resources for bisexual and queer persons through in-person and hybrid groups, events, and programming.
Mental Health Therapy for Teens in Chicago
If you sense that something isn’t right with your teen, trust your instincts—early support from a mental health professional can make a meaningful difference, and our team at ECC is here to help.
At ECC, we support children, teens, and adults of all identities and backgrounds. With the guidance and support of an ECC therapist, your child or teen can learn new coping skills and ways of communicating so that they can thrive into adulthood. We’re committed to helping children and adolescents find the therapist and therapy method that best suits their needs. When you contact us, our intake team will review your intake form and follow up to book an appointment.
About ECC:
Empowered Connections Counseling is a practice of licensed therapists providing quality, multidisciplinary counseling for relationships, families, children & teens, and individuals in Chicago and across Illinois. Whether by in-person session or via telehealth, we work with clients to find the therapist and treatment methods that best suit their needs. Connect meaningfully with your life by booking an appointment today.