In this post, we’ll walk you through the framework of emotional over-functioning and under-functioning and how it can be useful in a therapy setting to repair dysfunction and find healthier ways to communicate.

“I don’t believe in anything being a ‘personal problem,’” says Riley Brennan, our current graduate intern therapist who is completing her Master’s in Couple and Family Therapy at Adler University. In her Q&A on our blog today, Riley shares what it means to be a systems therapist: someone who works with clients to consider the system influences that impact their mental health, from family and friends, to workplace dynamics, religion, and politics. Keep reading to find out why she finds this framework helpful for connecting with clients.

Why do humans fall in love with the idea of someone, rather than the actual person? What function does this serve in the course of a relationship? Should we avoid doing it? How do we handle it when we start to see our partners for who they really are, and they’re different from who we expected? It turns out there are actually some very good answers for all of this.