Not all therapists start out knowing they want to be therapists. Some, like ECC Affiliate Therapist Peter Beer, start out in an entirely different field and realize that human relationships are what they want to dedicate their careers to. In his Q&A for our blog today, Peter shares about what led him to therapy and the approaches he finds beneficial in working with clients. And with June being Men’s Mental Health Month, he shares about the most common issue he sees among young men seeking therapy for the first time—loneliness—and how he coaches them through it.
Peter Beer, MA, AMFT
Affiliate Therapist
What inspired you to become a therapist?
So many reasons! I actually took a roundabout way to this field—my undergrad was in Industrial Engineering. Although I enjoyed a lot about being in STEM, I found myself wanting more relational pieces to my daily work. I also wanted to feel more directly involved in helping others, particularly in my local communities, and have a career that allowed me to incorporate social justice into my work. Finally, I knew from personal experience how powerfully healing therapy could be, and I wanted to try and impart that to others!
If there’s one thing you could say to a person thinking about starting therapy for the first time, what would it be?
It can be daunting to jump into therapy for the first time—and even more daunting to choose a first therapist! But the biggest thing to remember is that you, as a client, have agency in deciding what that therapy experience should look like and feel like. Have a conversation with your therapist about what you’re looking for so that you can get a feel for how you want sessions to go (and if that’s difficult to articulate for now, no worries, that’s what the therapist is there to help put specifics to!)
In your bio, you say that you draw from a few different therapy approaches: Solution-Focused therapy, Collaborative Language Systems, and Symbolic-Experiential therapy. Can you talk more about what those are and why you find them helpful as a therapist? What kind of benefits do you see for your clients (or hope to see for your clients) through them?
I see solution-focused and collaborative approaches in similar ways, because they both highlight the client’s own strengths and abilities to facilitate change. I believe everyone has the capacity to heal, and my job is simply to help them unlock that capacity. To me, Solution-Focused Therapy is all about helping clients find the language to describe where they want to “go.” Collaborative Language Systems is about empowering a client to take the lead on directing a session. Both approaches center around the concept that nobody knows better than yourself what feels helpful. I also believe both approaches are inherently trauma-informed as they allow clients to set their own pace in sessions.
Symbolic-Experiential Therapy, to me, is more about how I believe change occurs. In this approach, therapy invites emotional experience into the room so that clients can feel something different during the session. I believe that in order to be different, oftentimes we have to feel different first! That’s what I aim to do in a safe and secure way.
June is Men’s Mental Health Month. Stats show that 16% of American men are in mental health therapy, vs 25% of women. When you talk to men and boys who are seeking therapy for the first time, what comes up? What kinds of experiences make them decide to choose therapy? How do you coach them through overcoming the stigma around seeking help?
Most of my experience currently is with teens and families, so I might be able to speak to this from an adolescent perspective best. I see a lot of boys—especially in high school—struggling to find community. Many boys aren’t encouraged or taught how to form close, supportive emotional connections with friends. And so attempts to find a sense of belonging can end up being unsuccessful or even damaging to themselves and/or others. Sometimes those attempts to find belonging don’t occur at all. I’ve gotten many teenage referrals who are simply needing generative human connection. For these clients, I aim to meet them where they’re at, and I use my own therapeutic relationship with them as a way to explore what safe, validating interactions can look like.
What are you reading / watching / listening to right now?
I’m currently on a Brandon Sanderson kick! So I just finished Elantris, and I’m on the second Mistborn book. I’ve really liked fantasy recently as a way to access some playful imagination. The other book I’m in the middle of is Warrior Girl Unearthed—young adult books can just be so sweet and enchanting, so I’m hoping this one pans out that way! I’m also an avid bridge player, so my current e-content is full of bridge educational videos and series (Peter Hollands and Gavin Wolpert are my favorites!)