Please note, this post includes descriptions of domestic violence
which may be emotionally challenging.
Seeking out individual therapy is not only healing, but also informative. As a client, I was describing what was going on in my personal relationship with my partner as we were cohabiting. I continuously felt like I was walking on eggshells and communication with friends and family became limited. As I was describing my day to day living, my therapist stopped me and said, “do you understand you are in a domestic violence situation?” I was confused, I made sure she understood I wasn’t being physically hurt. The statistics are astonishing, 1 in 4 women and 1 in 9 men face severe domestic violence from an intimate partner.
Growing up with bickering parents and occasional visits from the police department, I thought my situation was normal. I was stunned as my therapist described the signs of domestic violence and that the behavior I was experiencing was not normal.
Signs of DV Behavior:
Hurtful words and threats
Monitoring cell phones, email, etc.
Physical aggression
Destroying or throwing property
Excessive jealousy
An eagerness to move the relationship forward quickly
Constant flattery early on
Attempts to control your choices, relationships, and even finances
This treatment ate at me. I couldn’t sleep through the night as I never knew what I would wake up to. Not only did this affect my mental health, but my physical health also started to diminish. If I hadn’t decided to seek therapy, I would have most likely stayed where I was. Once I understood what was happening, I was able to gather the strength to take the necessary steps to remove myself from my situation.
My therapist listened to me and did not judge me. She showed me how to look for the red flags of a potential bad relationship. I learned how to cope with the trauma. It takes time to heal from a domestic violence situation, but if you have the knowledge and tools you need to recover. You can move forward and begin to heal. There is hope. Seeking counseling with the right therapist empowers you to change your life, understand your feelings, and can build back your sense of self-worth.
RESOURCES:
For support contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). Advocates are available who can provide domestic abuse help and assist with crisis intervention, safety planning and can provide you with a local domestic abuse hotline number.
NNEDV’s WomensLaw email hotline, https://strongheartshelpline.org can also be utilized to obtain basic legal information, referrals, and emotional support.
Red Flags of Abuse - NNEDV to understand the “red flags” of abuse and to also obtain additional links for help with domestic violence.
If you are seeking a therapist, reach out to our team at info@empoweredconnectionscounseling.com or fill out our intake request form.
*The author of this blog post has been kept anonymous*