Summer is here! A time to slow down, take in the warm air, and spend time with our children while summer vacation is still in gear. In the constant state of trying to create a balance in our new and ever changing environments, I think to myself, “how are our children handling this as well?” I am reminded of this within my own family, and the big changes we are facing with an out of state move. We have had our ups and our downs of the common stressors of a move and selling our home, and the transition of getting to our new home.
Reflecting on past years of our own family changes and the unexpected changes we've had as a society, it's a reminder that our children have gone through a lot of their own stressors. I personally do mental health check ins with myself, review if I am feeling off balanced and what is needed to get back into that balanced feeling. Why not do the same checking in with our children's own mental health? Here are some quick tips to help start the conversation:
Gently lead in with an open ended question for example,
“there have been so many changes going on, like us moving to a new state, and selling our house. What feelings do you have about that? What has that been like for you?”
Ask specific questions based on observations you’ve made, something like,
“I’ve noticed you're easily upset or frustrated lately since we moved out of our old house, is there something I can do to help you not be so frustrated or upset?”
Stay present, it is important to be in the moment with your children and the conversations you are having. When we are in the moment with our children, we are able to have honest conversations and genuine connections.
Remove distractions like technology while having the conversation. Also anyone that could cause your child not to open up, like a sibling.
Provide active listening, through eye contact and physical movements. This shows them you're listening. Something like a head nod, as well as relaying what your child said back to them.
There are many ways to start a conversation with your child, tailoring how you start a conversation is beneficial based on their age and development. Conversations are a great way to build connections, practice listening skills, model healthy relationships, and gain trust. The more conversations we have with our children the easier they become when we face harder topics.
Additional resources for children’s mental health support
Big Life Journal: Free, low cost mindful strategies, journals, and lessons for all ages and for parents as well.
Child Mind: Free resources for parents that are geared toward specific needs and support like anxiety, depression, and much more!