Just because grief is part of the human experience, doesn’t mean we have to cope with it alone, or reign in how we express it. In this post, we’ll explore different kinds of loss and grief, and how to know when it’s time to seek therapy for grief.
In this post, we’ll talk you through healing your self image, the therapy interventions that can help, and five tips for getting started.
Many LGBTQIA+ Americans living today realized their orientation and came out of the closet when they were teenagers, there are many adults who experience this at an older age and have the challenge of coming out to a romantic partner. In this post, we offer some guidance in this post to help you prepare for the conversation.
Not all therapists start out knowing they want to be therapists. Some, like ECC Affiliate Therapist Peter Beer, start out in an entirely different field and realize that human relationships are what they want to dedicate their careers to. In his Q&A for our blog today, Peter shares about what led him to therapy and the approaches he finds beneficial in working with clients. And with June being Men’s Mental Health Month, he shares about the most common issue he sees among young men seeking therapy for the first time—loneliness—and how he coaches them through it.
Why do humans fall in love with the idea of someone, rather than the actual person? What function does this serve in the course of a relationship? Should we avoid doing it? How do we handle it when we start to see our partners for who they really are, and they’re different from who we expected? It turns out there are actually some very good answers for all of this.
Is my partner gaslighting me? Chances are if you’re in a relationship that you’ve wondered this before, especially in the midst of a conflict or disagreement. Gaslighting is a term that has entered the cultural lexicon in the last decade, yet we often hear confusion from clients about whether their experiences actually meet the definition of gaslighting, or something less serious. In today’s post, we unpack this loaded term to help you discern gaslighting from other communication issues in relationships.
Valentine’s Day as it is celebrated in modern culture is a chance to celebrate romantic love, yet it can also be a painful reminder if you’re currently single, have recently lost or ended a relationship with a romantic partner, or are processing relationship trauma. Even in a relatively healthy partnership, Valentine’s Day can be fraught with social pressures to demonstrate romantic commitment in certain ways like expensive gifts and romantic dates. It’s all too easy to feel disappointment, grief, or stress around Valentine’s Day, which is why practicing self-love and compassion are important. Here are a few therapy tips for honoring your authentic needs and values around Valentine’s Day.
As a wave of red and pink floods our storefronts, and Valentine's Day posts from your peers begin to take over your social media feed, these can be painful reminders of what we perceive as personal deficits in our lives. Even for those in relationships, Valentine’s Day can be a breeding ground for expectations, resentment, pressure, anger, and hurt. Here are some reminders as potentially complicated feelings come up around February 14th.
Relationships are connective and complex. They can sometimes hold dialectical meaning. When something like this is filled with so much nuance, we then try to find answers to make sense of it. We might turn to relationship experts, self help books, or intensive workshops. I am here to break the news that not even the experts have it all figured out. Why? Because we’ve all got a story and so do our partners. One that is unique to you and only you. The relationship is just a new chapter in our own story. Now, imagine starting a book halfway through and not having the details of the previous chapters. That’s a big part of relationships. Getting to know your partner’s previous chapters. That requires work, time, and effort.
Seeking out individual therapy is not only healing, but also informative. As a client, I was describing what was going on in my personal relationship with my partner as we were cohabitating. I continuously felt like I was walking on eggshells and communication with friends and family became limited. As I was describing my day to day living, my therapist stopped me and said, “Do you understand you are in a domestic violence situation?” I was confused, I made sure she understood I wasn’t being hit. The statistics are astonishing, 1 in 4 women and 1 in 9 men face severe domestic violence from an intimate partner.
The five love languages originated from Dr. Gary Chapman in 1992. These languages are modalities of how we show or receive love and appreciation whether it’s towards our romantic partners, family, or friends. We as humans communicate differently and by understanding how others express love in a meaningful way, it helps us communicate and strengthen relationships by focusing on other’s needs rather than our own. Dr. Chapman developed 5 categories of love languages; Acts of Service, Gifts, Physical Touch, Quality Time, and Words of Affirmation.
According to Dr. John Gottman’s research, 69% of problems that relationships face are actually perpetual or unsolvable problems. The good news is no you are not doomed for, and no you are absolutely not alone. What are examples of unsolvable problems might you ask? Many involve personality or character traits that are simply not changeable, but can also be the very parts of your partner that you fell in love with. They can also include core value topics like politics and religion.
Starting relationship therapy with your partner(s) and meeting your new therapist can be anxiety provoking. What will you discuss in your first session? What will your partner(s) say? What will the therapist think? What if it's awkward? These are all normal thoughts when meeting your therapist. You are essentially inviting a stranger into your relationship!
While every therapist may have some slight differences - generally you can expect that the first session will focus on you and the therapist getting to know each other better. Sessions are approximately 55 minutes long.
When an argument happens with your partner, you may feel a wide range of emotions such as betrayal, anger, and disbelief. Although there are several different strategies to de-escalate, therapy may be the best option if you find yourself getting stuck in the same pattern time and again. Your therapist can teach effective de-escalation and help your relationship heal and grow. One therapeutic technique that can help is utilizing effective timeouts.
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